The Embrace of Healing

My resolve has fled into the dark night

And has taken hope with it.

The mystery is

I don’t mind it. Not at all.

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Hope is a heavy burden

When it comes with unrealized expectations.

Were my expectations to high?

Too lofty?

Are kindness and compassion

too much to ask for?

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I’m indifferent, which is scary.

I’ve always cared too much

Obsessed and worried

And now it doesn’t matter

Grief has owned so much of me

For so long

That indifference feels like a gift!

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A beautiful, peaceful gift.

But there is caution here

As I don’t want my heart to grow cold and callous.

I take no pride

In whatever resilience I may possess

I know it is none by Grace

that has carried me through.

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I’ve tried so hard

With much stress to my soul

To hold on to anything that was left

Through the years

But with each passing year

I find there is less to hold on to.

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Now, I must surrender

To the truth, I’ve been denying.

It used to feel fearful

To glimpse that truth

But now it stands at the door

Like a friend with outstretched arms,

Warm blanket in hand

And an embrace that calls me into healing.

My only choice…

To walk into it.

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